top of page





In the pilot episode, Todd’s been a vampire for a year. He’s lost his job as a kindergarten teacher (which he loved) because it takes place during the day.  His dog won’t play with him because he senses mortal peril.  And, he’s been forced to move in with his caustic and annoying sister, Claudia.


After visiting his vampire support group, Re-Vamp, with his friend/mentor Milt, he decides it’s time to start reengaging in life. He contemplates hooking up with his sister’s hipster-slutty friend Shelly at a party. It does not go well.


At the same party, to his surprise, he encounters Jane, the girl who turned him into a vampire and then disappeared. Jane, who is disappointed in vampire existence herself, vows to help him figure out his new life... um, afterlife.


The world of SAD VAMPIRE is super-accepting of vampires... so much so that some people around Todd are actually jealous. Todd finds this appalling, and decides to start a vlog about how decidedly unglamorous it is to be a vampire.

@SadVampire #ItGetsWorse 

Todd thought becoming a vampire would make his life better...

but it still sucks.

And it might suck... forever.



The complete pilot script is available for persusal.

Email us for details.


Todd – A 35 year-old, slightly chubby, depressed vampire, with a great (but barely beating) heart. He’s got a bad job, no game, and a dog who’s too scared to play with him. But he’s got amazing friends to help him through. 



Type: Adam Pally



Claudia – Todd’s sarcastic and vivacious sister who works at the blood bank. She’s trying to find a husband, and thinks Todd needs a girl to snap him out of his funk.




Type: Ashlie Atkinson



Milt – Todd’s filthy-minded neighbor and vampire “big brother” in their support group. Becoming a vampire last year made him totally gay (That can happen!) , and he’s loving the change. He’s got a very understanding wife and kids.



Type: Bobby Cannavale



Jane – The vampire that turned Todd, and then promptly disappeared. She’s British, sophisticated, and 85 in the body of a 25 year-old. All of her family and friends have died, and she finds Todd again to make amends and figure out her future.



Type: Lupita N'yong'o



Shelly – Claudia’s hipster-slutty, vegan friend who has got a huge crush on Todd, but she’s entirely the wrong girl for him.




Type: Alexandra Daddario



Stephanie - Milt's wife who has finally come to grips with the fact that vampirism has made her husband dead AND gay.  She's a neurotic New Yorker, who can't seem to find her footing.




Type: Artemis Pebdani




The vampires from the support group:

     Sam – A sophisticated, great role model for how to thrive as a vampire.

     Cathy – The matronly leader of the group. Everyone’s vampire mom.


     LeDawn – A sassy-as-fuck, 10 year-old girl vampire who is bitter, but helpful.


     Mr. Harris – An 80-year-old, wheelchair-bound vampire who is barely ever awake.


New York City, in an alternate world where vampires are real, and out of the coffin. Most scenes take place in the building on the Upper West Side where Todd, Claudia, Milt and (now) Jane live.


Realistic, optimistic, and a little silly.


Signature Feature:
Todd vlogs during each episode about the sad reality of being undead. @SadVampire  #ItGetsWorse



In The First Season:
Todd has to rebuild his life. He’s got to find a job he loves. He’s got to start dating. He’s got to figure out a way to forgive Jane.


With the help of his friends, his support group, and his vlog, he’s going to make huge progress. In the second half of the season, his vlog will take off, and he'll become a vampire celebrity.


Jane is facing a similar rebuilding. She’s got to make amends to Todd, and consider what kind of vampire she’s going to be. The group will ground her, and help her learn how to have the courage to re-attach herself to the world. She and Todd will become great friends, but he won't trust her enough to love her again.


Milt will sow his wild oats, and learn that road to happiness might not be paved with dudes. Milt’s wife, Stephanie, loves her new gay husband, and they'll have to learn to co-parent their kids. They'll stay roommates, and she’ll experience the joy of being a fag-hag and a vamp-fag.


Claudia, Todd's sister, a single 30-something New York City gal, is by default the most normal one in the group. She’s the Sherpa that will help everyone figure out how to get a life. But, where does that leave her? She will date and try to find a husband if it kills her. And it just might. She'll fall in love with a vampire, and consider making the switch herself.


Shelly will be along for the ride, as Todd’s biggest fan. As his popularity grows, she'll be his Public Relations manager, helping him become a star. But does he even want that? 




The script for SUCKERS got to the final round for the Sundance Film Festival Episodic Writers' Lab.

The script for SUCKERS was a finalist in the Austin Revolution FIlm Festival, for Best TV Pilot script

The script for SUCKERS WON Best Short Screenplay at The SoCal International Film Festival.



bottom of page